How Satan Works

You'll just be going about your daily business --- doing things like, oh say, shopping --- and then Pow! something like this shows up on your phone:

And then you find yourself here:

And, of course, the 'Hot Now' sign is on, so you end up with a dozen of these:

And you don't even care that they were nearly $8 a dozen and almost 250 calories a piece. All you care about is that you now need to go to Starbucks for an Americano and whether or not you can reasonably and safely navigate a vehicle with hot coffee and doughnut goodness wafting through the air, or if you just need to stay in the parking lot and scarf them up so the little 'Hobbitses' back at home can't get their hands on the 'Preciouses'. My preciouses.

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen --- a cautionary tale of temptation and sin. Now I'm off to the gym to seek redemption on the treadmill and cleansing through a puddle of sweat. And blocking Satan's text message fiery darts.